If someone you know is struggling, you do not need to be an expert to help. Often, being there and listening is the most important thing you can do.
1. Set time aside with no distractions
Give them a calm, private space and your full attention.
2. Let them share as much or as little as they want
Let them go at their own pace. Talking takes trust and courage, and you might be the first person they have told.
3. Do not try to diagnose them
You do not need to have the answers, and it is best not to jump in with solutions.
4. Ask open questions
"How are you feeling?" works better than "You seem really low." Give them time to answer.
5. Talk about self care
Ask what helps them feel a little better, and whether they are getting rest.
6. Listen carefully
Say back what you have heard so they know you understand. You do not have to agree with everything to show you respect how they feel.
7. Help them find support
Offer to help them speak to their GP or nutrition team, but let them make the decisions.
8. Know your limits
You can only do so much, and you need looking after too. Help them build a wider circle of support.
Things you could say
- "Thank you for telling me."
- "I'm listening. Take your time."
- "What can I do to help?"
- "I'm here for you. You're not alone in this."
If someone is in crisis
If someone tells you they are thinking about ending their life, take it seriously and encourage them to get help now. They can call Samaritans free on 116 123 at any time, or NHS 111 and choose the mental health option. If they are in immediate danger, call 999 or take them to A&E. Stay with them if it is safe to do so.
Supporting someone in crisis is hard. Afterwards, talk to someone about how you feel too. Samaritans are there for you as well.
More support
- Mind information line: 0300 123 3393, or mind.org.uk
- Samaritans: 116 123, free, any time
- Shout: text SHOUT to 85258
- Citizens Advice for money, benefits and housing worries: citizensadvice.org.uk